Friday, April 5, 2013

Tag! 8 Questions about Love and Money

Time for another #Tag post! Got this one from Girl Meets Debt who got it from Justin at The Frugal Path. I like these posts because I think you get to know a bit more about the person behind the blogger :) Feel free to participate!

1. Would you discuss money on the first date?
Besides, who's paying? No, probably not. I work in the financial industry, so usually some discussion comes up but I wouldn't talk personal numbers.

2. How long should you wait to talk about money with your spouse?
Before they were my spouse! I can't remember exactly when T and I discussed money but it was probably fairly early on. We both had student debt when we met and tried to be fairly frugal on our dates.

3. Who brings up money in your relationship?
T brings it up more than me! He is constantly thinking about how much money he has and what else he has to purchase and tells me all about it ;) He's also fascinated with investing in ETFs and the housing market right now.

4. Is it harder managing money as a couple than it was when you were single?
In some ways, easier. I know I can fall back on T if I'm a couple of bucks short or maybe more (but I would pay it back). This prevents going into debt or paying bank fees for some stuff. In some ways, harder. We're constantly buying stuff for each other. This weekend, for example, he paid for dinner and I bought him socks! The amount was about equal, but the budgeting categories were not. We like to take turns treating each other and it may not always be equal. Right now, even though we're married, we do not have a joint account. Once we have a house, we will have a joint account for household bills that we will contribute to on percentage basis (based on income) and keep our spending accounts separate.

5. Would you offer to pay off your spouse’s debt?
Yes, if they were absolutely desperate and the interest was killing them. But, they would be expected to pay it back. In T's case that won't happen, he's now very responsible with his money and has no debt (unlike me).

6. Is debt a deal breaker?
It would be extremely hypocritical of me to say yes. But, anyways, its not. T had student debt and a bit of credit card debt when we met. Being responsible with money is a deal breaker. Even though I have been irresponsible in the past, I've learned from my mistakes and have tried to fix them (still in progress). I think more than anything, apathy would be the deal breaker. I dated one guy who just didn't care and I couldn't handle that.

7. Do you think it’s important to have the same money views?
Maybe not 100% but generally agree, yes. T likes to make more money, I like to cut expenses. He's willing to take risks with his investments where I like to be a bit safer (especially when it comes to the home fund and emergency fund). He spends more money on quality items but has less, I have more stuff but spent less. We balance each other out :)

8. Can you really change how your spouse spends money?
Yes, but you can't force it. They have to want to change. We've both helped each other with being encouraging and giving advice when appropriate but we both wanted to get out of debt, pay for the wedding/honeymoon in cash, and put at least 20% down on a home. If either of us just wanted to spend money on crap and maintain/increase debt, it probably wouldn't have worked out.

Tag! You're it!



  1. I think bf and I talked money (not actual salaries or anything) but about our jobs and our career goals (as they were related to money) on the first date. We're rebels like that ;-)

    1. Hi SDS,

      I think jobs and career goals are fair game on a first date. You can tell a lot about a person by their goals and ambitions. Like I said above, apathy would be the one thing I wouldn't be able to tolerate so if in the first date the guy said he had no ambition and had no idea of what he wanted to do with his life, it would have been a clear indication to me to end it early ;)

      Thanks for your comment!

  2. I'm surprised that you said you would pay for your spouse's debt but they would have to pay it back. I am totally of the mindset that when you're married, its one pot of money. Maybe I see it that way because I brought student loan debt into our marriage but now make significantly more money. To each their own...

    1. Hi ND Chic,

      Well, to be honest, I normally would agree with you but since my husband doesn't operate that way, that's not how we've done things so far.

      He actually has taken over some of my debt onto a credit card with 0% interest but I've paid him back. That was his condition and I agreed to it. I got myself into the mess, I got myself out of it. It helped to have no interest since at the time I couldn't get that for myself.

      We are trying to keep things as equal as possible. We still have separate accounts and manage our own money separately. We have separate savings accounts and we've been waiting on purchasing a home until I have my 10% saved. Maybe we're just pessimistic and trying to offset the damage if we separate. However, we don't fight over money so its working for us at the time being, so we'll keep with it.

      Thanks for your comment! :)

    2. I also thought I should add that the debt I brought into the marriage was consumer debt that I racked up buying stupid stuff. I figured, why should T take responsibility for my stupid purchases? If it was student debt that might be a different story but since we both paid ours off in 2010 its a non-issue.